Choosing Our Response

I think God is trying to show me right now that I can choose my response to what happens to me. In my head I know this, but my will and heart often need reminding. Like for instance when I grab the biscuits and eat 5 of them in a row, blaming tiredness for my lack of self-control!

I have been reading two books, and they have both been saying the same thing in different ways.

In ‘One Thousand Gifts‘ Ann Voskamp describes when her son threw toast at his brother, and says something very deep:

‘What compels me to name these moments upheavals and annoyances instead of grace and gift? Why deprive myself of joy’s oxygen?…Isn’t it because I think complaining, exasperation, resentment will pound me up into the full life I really want? When I choose – and it is a choice – to crush joy with bitterness, am I not purposefully choosing to take the way of the Prince of Darkness?’

We have a choice in how we respond to situations, to those little things that can make us so mad or upset. I remember once having a mini-revelation as I walked through the school playground feeling angry and resentful. I suddenly realised that if I wanted to, I could decide to cheer up.

It’s just that I didn’t want to, because I liked feeling sorry for myself. I finally persuaded myself to cheer up anyway, and did – just like that.

She goes on to say, ‘In His presence is fullness of joy. He is in this moment. The well is always here. God is always here – precisely because He does care.’

We can choose our attitude, and as she beautifully points out we can find joy, because in God’s presence is joy, and He is with us at all times if we are saved – ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you’.

In the other book I’ve been reading, ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People‘, Stephen Covey says this:

Anytime we think the problem is “out there,” that thought is the problem. We empower what’s out there to control us… It is so much easier to blame other people, conditioning, or conditions for our own stagnant situation. But we are responsible – “response-able” – to control our lives and to powerfully influence our circumstances by working on be, on what we are.’

So what I am taking from these thoughts is that what happens to us, or what we are going through, doesn’t determine how we respond – we can choose how to respond.

It is definitely a lot harder, and takes effort, to choose joy, love and forgiveness (and in my case self-control!), rather than discouragement, bitterness and resentment. But we can do it, and we will be blessed when we do, because it is what God wants us to do.

We can also do what Stephen Covey says and be proactive to work on the problem. We might not be able to change someone else, but there are often things that we can do ourselves to help. I hope to write soon on how to figure out Biblical responses to situations, as that is not always that easy!

Linking up with A Holy Experience, Sharing His Beauty

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8 Responses

  1. David Cuff says:

    Wonderful insight! I love what Chuck Swindol says: Our attitude is the one thing in life we can control.

  2. Tracy says:

    Hi Rhoda – great post. Its so true we can choose our attitudes, our responses. I also enjoy Ann’s book. It certainly is encouraging and a whole different perspective on how to see things. God bless
    Tracy

  3. Rhoda says:

    Hi Dave, thanks for commenting! That’s a great quote, I just need to work at putting into practice now πŸ™‚ It’s amazing how hard thoughts and attitudes are to change.

    Hi Tracy, thank you, her book definitely puts things into a different perspective, and makes me think a lot!

  4. V says:

    Great insights! Changing our attitude is the first step in changing our behavior. Your words have a lot of wisdom.

  5. Joan Davis says:

    Our responses to situations are indeed a choice. Sometimes the choice to respond as God would like is difficult, but with His help we can! He will give us the strength to make the choices that will please Him.

  6. So true! Our attitude is so important… it shows what’s in our hearts!
    Jessica

  7. Anita says:

    That’s lovely. I am increasingly realising this. I visualize myself in Jesus, hidden in Jesus, sheltered from the annoyances in the secret places of the Most High. It’s so freeing to realise I don’t need to be reactive. I can simply ignore the little storms of family relationships until they pass!

  8. Rhoda says:

    Hi V, thank you for visiting and for your encouragement πŸ™‚

    Hi Joan, thank you for the reminder about being able to choose the right response through Christ’s strength, that is really good to remember.

    Jessica thank you for visiting, it was nice to see you back in the blogging world πŸ™‚

    Anita that is a lovely perspective. I’ve got to try and think like that a bit more too. I was reminding myself the other day of the verse, ‘You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you’ – which is a lot like what you’re talking about I think.