Why I Think About Perceptions

I am often thinking about perceptions. By that I mean, what impression am I giving people? What example am I displaying? What am I implying by what I do and say?

In the Oxford dictionary perception is defined as: ‘The way something is regarded, understood, or interpreted.’

I am not saying that I think about pleasing people, or trying to make people like me. The Bible says we should aim to please God, not men. What I mean is that I try to think of the impact of what I do or say on people in general, and if it might have a negative impact then I think twice about it.

For example, at church the other Sunday I was playing the piano for worship but not singing. I was capable of singing, but had a sore throat and was afraid that if I pushed on, I might lose my voice for a few weeks (that used to happen a lot!) So as the first song started I just played.

Then it occurred to me, “Hold on, what are people going to think who are new to this church  or are just here visiting?” People who know me would know I normally sing, so would probably just assume that something was different that day. But a visitor might think, “Hmm that worship team plays but they don’t sing. What’s up with that? They can’t really be worshipping from their heart…”

So I started ‘goldfishing’ instead. I mimed the words with my mouth and only let minimal, if any, sound come out! It was harder to do, but I figured it’s better to do that and not put anyone off than the other way around.

It made me think, though, how much of what I do is because I don’t want to give the wrong impression.

When you post something on facebook, or comment on something, do you think about what perception it might give?

Do you realise that if you criticise another Christian publically then you are showing your family quarrels off to all your non-Christian friends and giving a bad impression?

Or when you post about what a great time you had with someone, do you ever think that another friend might feel left out? And that’s not to say that you shouldn’t post it, but maybe you should think about the possible effects first?

In the age of online social media, so much of what we say can now be read by hundreds of friends and enemies. Personally I often start writing something and then stop and delete it because I realise that it could be viewed in the wrong way by some people. Some of my friends might totally get it, but others might think something completely different, that isn’t even true.

As a wife of a pastor I probably think about perceptions more than most, as I don’t want to put my church or husband in a bad light. But we all represent Christ – so shouldn’t that be an even more important reason to think about what we do or say, and how it looks to others?

Here’s why I believe that as Christians we should be thinking about perceptions:

• We are called to be examples ‘Be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.’ 1 Tim 4:12 – a wrong perception might give someone a bad example. For instance people might see me without a Bible at church and think, “She doesn’t bring a Bible, so I guess she doesn’t think it’s important, so I don’t need to bring one either.” The reality would be that I do think it’s important to bring a Bible to church – I just forgot that day!
• We are ambassadors of Christ – so we represent Him. ‘We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us’ 2 Cor 5:20 NIV. Therefore we should want to bring Him glory – make Him look good. If we are quarrelling and complaining, how does that reflect on Christ?
• We should make every effort to be at peace with everyone ‘Pursue peace with all people’ Heb 12:14 NKJV. Sometimes even though our heart is right, the way someone might perceive something could put barriers between us.
• We shouldn’t put a stumbling block in people’s path ‘Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way’ Romans 14:13 NKJV – for instance I might ‘follow’ someone on twitter that has dodgy doctrine. One of my friends might then follow them because I do (their perception could be that since we follow that person we like everything that they say) and be misled by their doctrine.
• We should do everything in love ‘Let all that you do be done in love.’ 1 Cor 16:14 NASB.  I so often see people post things on facebook that could easily be hurtful to someone else. They usually don’t mean it that way – they just didn’t think about who would be reading it and how they would regard it. If I’m in doubt, I rub it out! It’s better to be silent than hurt someone. ‘ Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt.’ Col 4:6 NKJV

Having said that, we can also go too far with being concerned about what people think. We should always please God rather than men, if it is a question of the two, and sometimes you just need to stand up for what is right regardless of what people think.

But I do believe as Christians, that we need to put far more thought into how people might perceive what we say and do, so that we might glorify God and be a light in this dark world.

I know I just recently posted this song, but it is a great song to remind us that people should see Christ in us – ‘In every eye that sees me, Christ be all around me’…

Linking up with Monday’s Musings and Soul Survival